


Five Times Merlin Surprised Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

by fictionalinfinity



Series: Destiny Rewritten [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BAMF Merlin, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Dad!Merlin, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Everyone Loves Merlin, Freya Revealed, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt Merlin, Magic Revealed, Married Merlin, Whump, and he's really adorable, merlin has a son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-05-19 18:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalinfinity/pseuds/fictionalinfinity
Summary: ...and one time he didn't





	1. Freya

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a collection of scenes and scenarios that I wanted to see put in words, so obviously, the BBC wouldn't approve! It's my first attempt to write in the Merlin fandom so I hope no one is too OOC and that it's not a total failure. Anyways, enjoy!

 

Something was wrong with Merlin. The man had been anxiously hovering all day, and Arthur noted that he completed his chores with a fervor that was rarely seen. It wasn’t until that evening when he saw his manservant dash out of the physician’s chambers with a  _ picnic basket  _ of all things and into the courtyard that Arthur knew it was time to investigate. 

 

“Ah, Princess, what’s got you all hot and bothered?” Gwaine asked as the knight saw Arthur approach. Arthur scoffed. 

 

“Excuse you,  _ Sir  _ Gwaine, I am  _ not  _ hot and bothered. I am merely… going hunting! Yes, that’s what I’m doing. Now, if you don’t mind…” Arthur tried to get past the man as he saw Merlin through a window jumping onto his horse and securing the picnic basket. Gwaine followed his gaze and caught sight of Merlin. 

 

“You’re going after Merlin, aye? I’ll go with you,” Gwaine smiled and ran a hand through his long hair. “I’ve been worried about him too, the man’s been acting off all day.”

 

“I am not  _ worried  _ about  _ Merl _ in!” The king protested, but he knew if Gwaine had picked up on something about Merlin as well then there really was something going on. Gwaine must have noticed a conflicted expression on his face because he merely raised an eyebrow, waved him on, turned around and started walking. Arthur huffed, but he followed anyway. 

 

When the two men arrived at the stable, Arthur’s other knights sauntered off the training field and towards them. “Where are you lot headed then?” Elyan asked with a laugh. “Not thinking about running off without us, are you?”

 

“Princess and I are headed after Merlin, you’re welcome to follow. He’s up to something, I’m telling you!” Gwaine shook his head, laughing also. Arthur noticed the knights’ faces crease with worry. 

 

“You noticed Merlin too?” Leon glanced between Arthur and Gwaine, who both nodded. Even the gentle giant Percival seemed wrought with worry for the young servant. “It’s settled then. We’ll all go.”

 

Once all of his men and Arthur himself had their horses saddled and mounted them, they picked up Merlin’s trail. Unsurprisingly it led them into the forest, but for the life of him Arthur could not figure out why Merlin would just run into the forest with a picnic basket after behaving oddly all day. There was no way  _ Merlin  _ could be seeing a  _ girl _ ! Arthur would know if Merlin was courting, and it’s not like the man had the time, what with all the chores he gave him. 

 

“What do you think our little Merlin is up to then?” Gwaine asked cheekily. “I can’t imagine he’d need a picnic basket for one.” This drew some laughter from the knights, but they quieted as they saw where Merlin’s trail led in the distance. 

 

“He’s run off to...a lake?” Leon quirked his brow. They all exchanged glances before dismounting and continuing the path on foot. As they approached, the knights could clearly see Merlin standing ankle deep in the water, picnic basket sitting on the shore. That was puzzling to say the least. 

 

Suddenly, as if she had risen from the water itself- that was impossible, but Arthur had not seen her approach from any other direction -a woman threw herself into Merlin’s arms. His manservant laughed, picking the woman up and spinning her through the air before gently setting her down and leaning into a kiss. 

 

Arthur’s heart stopped. 

 

Merlin really  _ was  _ courting a girl? They seemed familiar enough with each other, meaning it wasn’t a recent development. Something festered uncomfortably inside Arthur. Did he really mean so little to Merlin that he wouldn’t even inform Arthur about such an important development in his life?

 

Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts by Merlin’s voice. “Freya, I came as soon as I could get away. What is it you wanted to tell me?”

 

Ah, so that was her name.  _ Freya _ . She was certainly a pretty young woman, way out of Merlin’s league if you asked him. Just from the way their eyes sparkled at the sight of each other, Arthur knew they were in love.  _ So how could Merlin not tell him? _

 

Arthur looked at his knights, gauging their reactions. Gwaine looked positively stupefied (then again, Arthur probably looked that way too. It really was a shocking scene). Percival looked contemplative, Elyan surprised, and Leon...well, Leon seemed better at hiding his emotions than the rest of them. Arthur couldn’t quite tell what his first knight was thinking. 

 

As the couple pulled away, Arthur seemed to regain his ability to breathe and consequently his speech. “We should…we should go,” he stated firmly, moving to stand and return to the horses. His words seemed to work their intended effect as it spurred the others into action. Before any of them could hear what is was this ‘Freya’ had to tell Merlin, they were gone. 

 

The ride back to the citadel was filled with some of the most awkward silence Arthur had ever experienced before Gwaine managed to break it. “Did any of you...know?” Gwaine asked, but his voice sounded odd and slightly choked up. They all glanced at one another, but no one had to say a word to convey that  _ no, they did  _ not  _ know.  _

 

“You’d have thought  _ Merl _ in would have mentioned a  _ girl  _ given how much he talks,” Arthur grumbled, trying to ignore that ever-growing feeling of unhappiness. His statement earned him some muted laughs, but not much more than that.  _ Everyone’s  _ minds were elsewhere it seemed. 

 

“Sire, should we...should we mention what happened tonight to Merlin? I can’t imagine he would react very well to having been followed,” Leon inquired, ever the planner, the strategist. Arthur paused at that, not having realized he could  _ do  _ something with the information. He was not the only one it seemed. Even Percival’s eyes widened in surprise at the idea of confronting Merlin about Freya. 

 

“I’d rather we didn’t. For now this stays between us, understood?” Arthur ordered, and his men nodded. Now all Arthur had to do was pretend that he didn’t know his servant- no, friend, because that’s what Merlin is, isn’t it? Although he’ll never say it out loud, it’s the truth -had kept an important part of his life from him.  _ Fine,  _ Arthur thought,  _ it’s not like I never have to act in front of the council.  _ That was true, he supposed. It should be easy enough.  _ Except I’ve never had to pretend with Merlin.  _

 

-

 

When Arthur woke the next morning, Merlin was practically  _ buzzing.  _ The man could simply not stop smiling! Guinevere found it amusing, but all Arthur could see was Merlin and Freya, hugging and kissing and laughing and  _ keeping things from him- no.  _ Arthur couldn’t think like that. If Merlin felt he could not tell Arthur, then that must mean he had done something to make his manservant feel like he could not trust the king. But  _ what  _ exactly?

 

Arthur’s face must have conveyed his inner turmoil because Merlin was suddenly in front of him, smile gone and calling his name. “Arthur? Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. How can you be so  _ excited  _ at this hour?” Arthur scoffed, and then Merlin’s wide smile had returned as if he had reminded Merlin of his happiness. Honestly, that wide of a smile had to be hurting the man’s face if he had been keeping it up all morning. 

 

“Oh, now that you mentioned it!” If it was possible, Merlin’s smile grew  _ wider.  _ “I have some important news to tell you and Gwen this morning. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off,” Merlin didn’t wait for permission before he was racing out the door, leaving Arthur dumbfounded. 

 

“He’s certainly in a good mood this morning!” Guinevere laughed from across the table. “I’m glad for it. He seemed so tense yesterday. I was beginning to worry if maybe his mother was ill.” Arthur nodded quietly and took a sip of water, not trusting himself to speak without revealing what he saw the previous night.

 

Before Guinevere could say anything else, Merlin was bursting into the room again, this time with a girl at his heels. But not just any girl, no, it was  _ Freya.  _ Arthur began to choke in shock on the water he hadn’t had time to swallow. Guinevere looked between Merlin, Arthur, and Freya, clearly unsure of what to do. When Arthur’s coughing petered out, Merlin cleared his throat. “Arthur, Gwen, I’d like you to meet Freya, my wife!” Arthur’s jaw dropped. Guinevere dropped her fork in shock. 

 

“Wi...wife?” Arthur managed to croak out.  _ That  _ was unexpected. He could accept that Merlin was courting someone, yes, but  _ married _ ? 

 

“Merlin, I’m...happy for you, but why haven’t you mentioned her before?” Guinevere asked weakly, obviously still in shock but trying to be kind. She was obviously handling this better than Arthur. 

 

“Well, it never seemed like the right time. Freya was...called away, to deal with some…” Merlin trailed off as if grasping for an explanation. Freya grasped his hand and squeezed it before he could continue. “She was called away to do some work in another kingdom, but she’s been...relieved of her duties for now. I’ve missed her terribly and couldn’t bring myself to mention her. I did have important news to share with you though,” Merlin grinned, turning to look at Freya- his  _ wife! _ -before glancing at Arthur again. 

 

“Having a wife doesn’t count as... _ important news _ ?!” Arthur choked out and his wife seemed to be losing her hold on the calm mask she wore. 

 

“Well- yes, but this is more important I suppose, though I guess that really depends on your opinion. I’m sure my mother will be thrilled, but you might hold different values of course-” Merlin was cut off by his giggling  _ wife  _ who nudged him, “right, sorry, rambling...All that is to say Freya and I are expecting a child in the spring!”

 

Arthur promptly lost consciousness. 


	2. Dragonlord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still reeling from the shock of meeting Freya, Arthur and his most trusted knights discover another way Merlin can surprise them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback I've gotten in the past few days! I'm so excited to see where this story goes. I'm hoping to start foreshadowing some things for a future series in the next few chapters, so you've been warned.

Although it had been a few weeks since Freya came to Camelot, Arthur still couldn’t help  but do a double take every time he passed her in the hallways. From what he understood, the Knights of the Round Table were having similar issues, even though they all tried their best to be cordial. Gwaine seemed to have the best luck with Merlin’s wife. The man always had a joke at the ready to make Freya laugh, and Merlin had expressed his appreciation for making her feel more at ease in Camelot. 

 

Guinevere, ever kind, had offered the couple her old home in the lower town. Soon afterwards they were moved in and Merlin’s old room in Gaius’ chambers were used for storage once more. Sometimes Arthur didn’t even realize what he was doing when he barged in on Gaius demanding to know where the lazy idiot had run off too, only to be mortified when he realized Merlin no longer lived inside the castle. He’d hastily apologize before fleeing the scene, trying to pretend it never happened. 

 

On this particular morning, Arthur had decided they all needed a break from the tension currently hanging over all of them. The king gathered his most trusted knights and Merlin and told them they were off for a hunting trip. 

 

“Not another one!” Merlin whined. “Weren’t we just on one a month ago?” Arthur rolled his eyes while the knights laughed. When Arthur gave the disgruntled servant a look, Merlin threw his hands in the air and gave in. In no time their horses were saddled and supplies were packed. 

 

Arthur was just mounting when he heard a call. “Merlin!”

 

“Freya!” Merlin’s face broke out into a wild grin. Freya sprinted towards her husband and threw her arms around Merlin’s neck, and he encircled his arms around her waist to bring her closer. “What are you doing here my love?” Freya pulled away and rested her hand on her stomach.

 

“I just wanted to see you off! You didn’t come to say goodbye. I had to hear about your trip from Gaius!” Freya scolded and Merlin truly looked admonished. 

 

“I’m sorry! I’m just not used to you being here to say goodbye to yet. It doesn’t feel real. I’ll grow out of the habit soon, I hope,” Merlin’s voice was light and full of love, and Arthur wondered why he had never seen this side of him before. Merlin’s voice had only ever had a teasing tone, sometimes leaning towards obnoxious even. Who was this stranger before him?

 

“It’s alright. I’m not used to it either…” Freya trailed off. Her voice quieted, and Arthur knew this was not meant for his ears, but he still managed to overhear. “I still wake up and think I’m there sometimes. Always alone and forced to remain there…”

 

Arthur’s eyes widened. Alone? Forced to remain? There was more to this Freya than she and Merlin were letting on, but he wasn’t sure what. Maybe if he pestered Merlin enough he could get something out of him while they were away. Yes, that’s what he’d do. 

 

Merlin muttered something Arthur couldn’t hear and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before mounting his own horse. Both of their faces were clouded now, but Merlin managed a smile and a wave for his wife before he trotted towards the others. As the group left the citadel, Freya watched until they left her sight. 

 

“You’re quite the softy, Merlin! Didn’t know you had it in you,” Gwaine laughed and clapped Merlin on the back. 

 

“I have to agree, Merlin. This is all rather new. I have to wonder how you two met?” Leon asked in jest. Although Merlin tried to hide it, Arthur saw his shoulders tense uncomfortably. 

 

“Around a year after I began working for Arthur, I passed her in the lower town. We...hit it off, I guess you could say. She left shortly after that, but we never forgot each other. We reconnected around Morgana’s reign,” Merlin admitted to them all with a shrug, and the mood shifted within the group. A mention of Morgana always did that to them. 

 

Although Arthur was unaware of it, Merlin was silently relieved when no one asked any further questions about his and Freya’s past.  

 

“Well Merlin, do you enjoy living in our old home?” Elyan asked, and the topic allowed everyone to shake off the uncomfortable feeling the mention of Morgana brought. Merlin especially seemed to brighten up at the change of topic. 

 

“I’ve never lived anywhere so big before! It’s been nice,” he replied. 

 

Soon afterwards the knights began to hunt. Arthur felt some of the stress and worry clinging to him melt off, and the fresh air helped him breathe a little easier. It helped to see Merlin stumble over himself and curse when he dropped the equipment (more than once). It was a nice reminder that even though Merlin had kept something from him, there were still unchangeable truths about him. 

 

In the end it was Arthur who had the winning shot, managing to snag a deer. As Merlin worked on turning it into their dinner, he and his knights sat a little ways away to talk. If Arthur didn’t think about it too much, he could just imagine there was nothing troubling him at all. 

 

He spoke too soon. 

 

A weak cry sounded in the distance. Merlin grabbed at his head as he suddenly shot up. “ _ Aithusa! _ ” He shouted before sprinting into the dense wood, towards the origin of the cry. 

 

The knights too stood up and after exchanging glances with one another, raced after Merlin. After continuing their chase they ended up in a clearing where a small white creature- was that a  _ dragon?!  _ -struggled against the ropes it was caught in. Merlin stood next to the thing as he glared menacingly at the bandits who were attempting the wrangle the creature.

 

“ _ Merl _ in-” Arthur tried desperately before the man in question cut him off. 

 

“Let her go,” Merlin ordered, his voice deeper than Arthur had ever heard. It almost resembled a  _ roar _ . Beside the king, the knights started in surprise. Obviously none of them, not even Gwaine, had heard the manservant like this. “Or face the consequences.”

 

“Ha! What consequences? You’re just a mere  _ boy _ . Kill them all,” one of the bandits ordered. The sound of swords being removed from their sheaths spurred Arthur and his knights into action. They split off to take on the dozen or so men and Arthur raced to Merlin’s side, desperate to protect the idiot.  _ Honestly?! What had made Merlin so desperate to protect that creature? _

 

While Arthur swung his sword to meet that of the bandit’s, Merlin pulled a knife from inside his jacket and began cutting away the ropes holding the creature- no, it was most definitely a baby dragon, but Arthur still wasn’t quite sure how that was possible -down. “ _ Merl _ in, you  _ idiot _ , get out of here!”

 

“I can’t, not without her,” Merlin muttered distractedly, his voice still holding a touch of that raw power they’d heard before. The king didn’t get much time to argue as  _ Excalibur _ was knocked from his hands. He ducked and rolled away from the incoming blow, going to grab his sword off of the ground. As he did so, the bandit raised his sword toward Merlin. 

 

Arthur jumped up and shoved  _ Excalibur _ into the bandit’s back. He heaved in a breath, pulled his sword out, and watched as the man crumpled to the ground, barely registering Merlin’s desperate cry of  _ Arthur! _ before another sword was protruding from his own abdomen.

 

As Arthur gazed down weakly at the wound, his legs gave out beneath him. “ _ Sire! _ ” Leon shouted from a few paces away, and the ring of swords clashing continued. Merlin was beside him in an instant, doing his best to work the chainmail off him and keep pressure on the wound. 

 

“ _ No, no, no _ !” Merlin muttered softly, and Arthur noticed the wet gleam to his manservant’s eyes. There was a cry of pain in the distance as the last bandit was defeated and then his knights were around him too. 

 

“Merlin, there’s nothing you can do...not for a wound like that,” Elyan tried, but Merlin shouted a vehement  _ no _ at the man, saying something about refusing to give up. 

 

The young dragon gave a desperate cry as it fought against its remaining restraints, and suddenly Merlin gasped. Something in his eyes changed then, a hope replacing the sadness, but there was also...resignation? “That’s it!” Merlin jumped off and ran towards the dragon. 

 

“Tell my wife…” Arthur began to choke out, “tell Guinevere I love her.” He flinched uncomfortably as a tremor of pain ran through him. The king fought to speak around the warm blood forcing its way up his throat, and continued. “The kingdom...is hers. I can think of n-no one I’d rather succeed...me,” he finished weakly. 

 

“Of course, Arthur,” Elyan tried to give him a smile, but the poor man couldn’t muster up much. Beside Elyan, Gwaine said nothing but it was obvious that he was struggling to contain himself. 

 

“Sire…” Percival uttered weakly as if he couldn’t believe it. “It’s been an honor.” The others concurred. 

 

“Arthur, you’re not going to die today! I won’t allow it,” Merlin declared as he cut through the last rope tied to the dragon. 

 

“Stop that, Merlin…” Arthur started, “Don’t be such...such a girl. Least you could do is honor me. Name that child of yours af...after me!” Arthur started to laugh, but rather began to choke on the blood that had started to spill out past his lips. 

 

“As if,” Merlin joked, but his voice was shaky. “But no, I meant what I said. You’re not going to die. Aithusa! Aithusa, please, heal him!” Merlin begged the dragon, but it continued to cry out in confusion and terror, overwhelmed by the anxiety in the air and her trauma. 

 

“She won’t listen to me, she’s terrified… I’m going to have to order her. Forgive me, Arthur…” Merlin asked him, desperation in his eyes. 

 

“For...forgive y-you?” Arthur began to question, but was cut off by a roar.

 

“ _ O drakon…”  _ Arthur struggled to stay awake and make sense of the words, but he succumbed to the blood loss and passed out. 

 

-

 

When Arthur woke, it was not to some sort of afterlife as he had expected. The wound had been a mortal one, after all. Instead he woke to find the wound was not there at all. The blood still lingered on his skin and clothes but there was no pain. “What…?” He muttered, his voice strained.

“Arthur!” Gwaine shouted gleefully, jumping up from the log he had been sitting on. “Oh, you’re never going to believe it-” Gwaine stopped talking as Leon cleared his throat from behind, and then they were all looking awkwardly between Arthur, Merlin, and that blasted dragon who looked very cozy in his manservant’s lap. 

 

“Will someone please tell me  _ what  _ is going on?!” Arthur demanded, and all eyes fell on Merlin. 

 

“Aithusa saved you. I ordered her to. I told you that you weren’t going to die today, Sire,” Merlin tried to joke but failed rather miserably. 

 

“And why would that dragon listen to you?”

 

“Because...I’m her dragonlord. She could not refuse my command.”

 

Arthur’s eyes widened comically at this. “You’ve got to be joking,” he stated, but it came out as more of a question than anything else. 

 

“No, Sire. I am the last dragonlord. Balinor was my father.”

 

The king took a moment to ponder that statement. Looking back, Merlin had been awfully distraught over the dragonlords death. It would explain the victory over the Great Dragon that he had been unconscious for if Merlin had used the opportunity to defeat the creature with his powers. “You bested the Great Dragon then, not I?”

 

“Yes Sire. I banished him on pain of death and he has not caused anyone harm since.”

 

That was troubling. The thing was still alive? “Why would you not kill the blasted thing?! Surely it’s willing to risk death to destroy Camelot!”

 

“A dragon can not disobey their dragonlord. And besides, Kilgharrah has no quarrel with you, only with your father,” Merlin said, continuing to act eerily solemn and subdued. 

 

Kilgharrah. So the beast had a name. Hm.

 

“I must ask. What are you going to do with me? Now that you know, I mean,” Merlin added the last bit hastily. Arthur could see the other knights tense, fearing his reply. Clearly they had already made their decisions on what they believed to be the right thing to do. 

 

On one hand, Merlin had lied about his heritage. He had let the Great Dragon live. On the other hand, Merlin had saved Camelot by forcing the dragon to flee, and it seemed that he wouldn’t be coming back if he hadn’t already. Just now, Merlin had saved his life with his abilities. Without them, Arthur would surely be dead.

 

Why hadn’t Merlin told him the truth sooner though? First Freya, and now this. But then again, how long had Merlin been suffering in silence? There was obviously more to Freya’s story that caused Merlin distress, and when the man’s  _ father  _ had died Arthur told him he wasn’t worth Merlin’s tears. Uther had persecuted the dragonlords, even though the abilities were not purely magical. His manservant had most likely feared execution, and then Arthur gave him further reason to conceal the truth. 

 

“What am I going to do with you? I suppose I should be thanking you for saving me. I’m sure your wife will be most pleased with your heroics,” Arthur said. 

 

Really, what else could he have said? Merlin was his  _ friend _ , who had just risked everything in saving him. There was no way he could have punished him for it. 

 

When Merlin broke out into a grin and the knights breathed a collective sigh of relief, Arthur knew they’d be okay. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and feedback always appreciated.  
> In this chapter I tried to flesh out some of the feelings Arthur has about Merlin not really trusting him with some things and I hope I managed to do it in character. Let me know if anything seems too ooc...


	3. Questing Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and the Knights learn something new about Merlin's loyalty to his king. Oh, and domestics happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i freaking love me some domestics
> 
> also i suck at writing battles please forgive me

Merlin seemed horribly preoccupied as he polished Arthur’s armor on the floor, enough so that it almost had Arthur worried. Only almost, though. Still…

 

“Quit scowling like that, would you?” Arthur ordered, watching as Merlin’s expression went from worried to guilty. The manservant’s posture became a little less stiff, but not yet completely relaxed.

 

“Sorry, sire,” a weak chuckle escaped his lips. “I’m just worried about Freya, what with her getting more tired and nearing full term. Can’t really help it,” Merlin shrugged and returned to his polishing. 

 

That explained it. If Guinevere were in a similar situation, Arthur was sure he’d be worried too. His own mother had died in childbirth after all. He hoped that Freya would be alright, even if just for Merlin’s sake, although he (and Guinevere!) had grown fond of the gentle woman in the recent months. 

 

Even though they had all accepted Merlin’s dragonlord legacy and powers he and his knights still couldn’t help but be surprised at the manservant. A few weeks after the original scuffle with the bandits Merlin had called both dragons to formally meet Arthur and his knights. Now anytime they heard the dragonlord’s power in his voice, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else, something...more, lurking underneath.

 

Arthur felt that something had shifted in his opinion of Merlin as well. A certain respect he felt for his manservant and his sacrifices that hadn’t been there before. After losing his own father, Merlin had turned around and saved the kingdom that had scorned Balinor and torn their family apart. Arthur didn’t know if he could have done the same in Merlin’s position. 

 

A knock sounded from his door and Arthur called ‘enter!’ from his desk. Moments later, Leon emerged sporting a worried look. “Sire?” He asked finally. 

 

“Yes, Leon? You are free to speak here, you know that,” Arthur gestured for him to speak and Leon nodded. 

 

“There have been some worrying reports from the lower town. They are a little unclear, but one thing remains the same in each report. They all believe it to be a Questing Beast.”

 

A loud clatter sounded from the floor and both he and Sir Leon glanced down in alarm. Merlin, who had presumably dropped the armor he was polishing, was significantly paler than before with his mouth opening and closing noiselessly. 

 

“A...a Questing Beast, you say?” Merlin spluttered out, eyes blown wide with shock. 

 

“Oh, don’t be such a girl,  _ Merl _ in! We’ve bested one before, we can certainly do it again.”

 

Merlin replied with a weak affirmation, but there was a worry in his eyes that Arthur rarely saw. The manservant picked up the armor once more and began frantically polishing while Arthur returned to his conversation with Leon. 

 

“Gather the Knights of the Round Table. We’ll leave immediately. Merlin, ready the horses!” Arthur ordered, and with a brisk nod, Sir Leon was gone. Merlin fled the room all too quickly for his taste and Arthur called another servant to ready him for the hunt. 

 

Soon enough Arthur and his closest men, along with Merlin, were riding out of the citadel towards where the beast was last sighted. While the knights chatted amicably Merlin remained quiet and appeared to be getting paler by the minute. 

 

“Seriously, Merlin. What’s got you so frightened? You were there the last time we fought one of these things. You’ve no reason to worry,” Arthur tried, hoping to placate the man who was beginning to make the horses skittish. Merlin only tensed more. 

 

“I’ve plenty reason to be worried…” Merlin grumbled, spurring his horse ahead of the group. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

 

“Give me one good reason! It’s not like the poison is fatal. Gaius found a cure to the beast’s poison, and he healed me last time” he reasoned, beginning to become frustrated with the man. The man had faced down  _ dragons _ , but a beast they had defeated when they were barely considered adults frightened him. 

 

“ _ No, he didn’t! _ ” Merlin cried out suddenly, effectively silencing all of them. “You have no  _ idea _ what it nearly cost me to save your sorry ass from that beast’s poison.”

 

“Merlin, mate…” Gwaine began, but Merlin cut him off with a glare. 

 

The ride continued in silence and Merlin steered clear of them all. Arthur could only speculate what Merlin had meant by the statement. The man was rarely as angry as Arthur had seen him at that moment. What had he almost lost? If Gaius hadn’t cured Arthur, what had?  _ All these secrets are going to be the death of me, _ Arthur thought with a sigh. 

 

A roar sounded from their right and something came bounding toward them.  _ The Questing  Beast.  _ “On me!” Arthur called as the men dismounted, readying  _ Excalibur _ . The beast glared and them and bared its fangs as Percival, who rarely ever spoke much as it is, let out a colorful curse. 

 

The creature charged right at them, knocking Elyan over with its weight. The man wheezed as the breath was forced out of his chest. Arthur and the men who remained standing (besides Merlin, who seemed to be watching on in horror) encircled the thing and brandished their swords.

 

Gwaine moved first and attempted to thrust his sword into the beast’s hide, but was knocked back by the mere strength of its tail. As he fell, Gwaine hit his head on a rock and then their numbers were down to three. 

 

Arthur stumbled back as the beast made a swipe at him and that alone seemed to spur Merlin forward a bit. Before anyone else could move however, Arthur brought  _ Excalibur _ down on the beast’s head, swiftly decapitating it. Merlin let loose a relieved laugh. 

 

“See, Merlin! Nothing to worry about. Now go check on Elyan and Gwaine,” he ordered and watched as Merlin’s expression soured at the reminder of their argument earlier. Never the less, he didn’t fight back. 

 

While Merlin roused Gwaine and wrapped Elyan’s ribs, Arthur, Leon, and Percival checked on the horses and disposed of the beast. According to his manservant, Gwaine had a minor concussion and Elyan was now sporting a couple of broken ribs, but they would heal. The king let out a sigh of relief. 

 

They all mounted their horses (although Elyan went about it a little more stiffly than the others) and began the journey to Camelot. Once they were all comfortable, Arthur broached the topic still lingering on his mind. 

 

“Merlin, what did you mean earlier about Gaius not being the one to heal me?”  _ And about what you nearly lost _ , Arthur wanted to say, but he didn’t. 

 

“Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it Sire,” Merlin tried to shrug it off. 

 

“ _ Merl _ in. I’m tired of the lies.” Arthur pretended not to notice the hurt in Merlin’s eyes, and Merlin did the same for Arthur. 

 

“Fine. It wasn’t science that healed you, it was magic.”

 

Arthur would wager that his eyes looked like they were bulging out of his head. 

 

“What?!” Leon spluttered, being the only other person to have witnessed Arthur poisoned by the Questing Beast. “You used magic right under Uther’s nose?” At this, the other knights balked. 

 

“Well, not  _ me _ , per se… I went to Nimueh to bargain for your life. In exchange for water from the Cup of Life, I offered her my life. We struck a deal, and you lived,” Merlin explained almost too casually. 

 

Arthur was once again sent reeling at the servant’s affinity for keeping secrets. Why had he risked his  _ life  _ just to save Arthur? What had inspired such  _ loyalty _ , and how could the king ever repay him? 

 

“You had encountered the Cup of Life before? And wait, you said you bargained your life for Arthur’s, but you’re both alive…” Elyan said, and Arthur’s head was spinning again. 

 

“Nimueh attempted to take my mother’s life. Gaius managed to get to the Isle of the Blessed before me and offer his life for my mother’s. By the time I got there he was dead… I killed Nimueh to bring back Gaius, and balance was restored,” Merlin finished the last part awkwardly. Arthur couldn’t imagine Merlin killing anyone, let alone a sorceress!

 

“Gods, Merlin…” Arthur muttered. The rest of the knights voiced their agreements. How had one man done so much for him? Merlin had only gotten his job after  _ saving  _ Arthur, and it seemed he hadn’t stopped since. There had to be something more to the manservant…

 

Normal conversation resumed but the feeling of shock and awe still hung thickly in the air. Only Merlin seemed unaffected by it. However he didn’t have much time to dwell on the fact as the citadel came into view, and before he knew it they were home. 

 

“Merlin!” Guinevere called at the top of the stairs before hoisting up her skirts and running to meet them. “Merlin, thank goodness! You’ve got to come with me. Freya’s pains have started!” Before any of them had time to react, Arthur’s wife had grabbed Merlin’s wrist and was yanking him up the stairs. 

 

“Gw...Gwen!” They heard Merlin gasp out in total shock. “Oh, gods!” At this, Arthur and his men laughed before going their separate ways. Arthur returned to his chambers with the intention of finishing some leftover work, but soon found he was too distracted to work. 

 

Thoughts of Merlin ran through his head. All these things he had learned of him the past few months had to mean something. He knew that Merlin was his friend, but he had never imagined how fiercely loyal Merlin would be about it. Arthur didn’t believe he deserved it. 

 

Before he knew it Arthur’s thoughts carried him all the way to the physician’s quarters where Merlin paced uneasily outside the door. Arthur winced in sympathy at the cries of pain coming from inside. Merlin ran a nervous hand through his hair and gave a long sigh. 

 

“You alright there Merlin?” Arthur asked, the manservant spinning around in surprise. 

 

“I’m not really sure,” Merlin replied with a poor excuse of a laugh. “What if I can’t do this? What if I fail both of them? I...I can’t fail Freya again. I never really knew my father, I don’t know how to be one!  _ What if I can’t be a good father? _ ” Merlin’s voice broke at the end and he began to claw at his scalp again. Arthur balked.

 

Before he could comprehend what he was doing, Arthur was hugging Merlin tightly. Merlin gave a cry of surprise before he relaxed and encircled the king with his arms. They remained like that for a few moments before Arthur pulled away. 

 

“Do you want to know how I know you’ll be a good father, Merlin?” Arthur asked his friend. Merlin nodded weakly, and although he still appeared nervous his hands had finally calmed beside him. 

 

“I know you’re going to be a good father because of all you’ve done for me. Just a few hours ago you told me how you were willing to give your life for mine with the Questing Beast, and I know it’s not the first time you’ve done something like that. You drank poison for me after I had been...fine, yes, I admit it, I had been a downright  _ prat  _ to you. If you’re willing to do that for me, just imagine what you’d be willing to do for your own child. I promise you, you won’t fail as a father,” Arthur proclaimed. 

 

Merlin, whose eyes were now significantly redder than before, gave him a kind smile. “Thank you, Arthur.”

 

“You’re welcome, my friend.” And he meant it. 

 

Guinevere burst through the door, her lavender dress dirtied with blood but sporting a bright smile. “Merlin,” she said, slightly out of breath, “you’ve got a son!” 

 

Apparently, the cries of pain had turned into the cries of a newborn babe during their conversation, but the two of them hadn’t noticed. Merlin gasped and bounded into the room, but not before giving Guinevere a kiss on the cheek and Arthur a meaningful smile. 

 

Arthur brought his wife to his side as they left the new family to their joy. “I can’t believe the Queen of Camelot assisted in the birth of a peasant babe,” he teased. Guinevere rolled her eyes fondly. 

 

“I wanted to help. Merlin deserves our support, and what better way to show it!” Guinevere explained with a smile. “Besides, I thought I’d get some practice in for when it’s my turn in about, oh...I’d say nine months.”

 

Arthur froze.

 

“You’re not…?”

 

All it took was a nod before the king pulled his queen in for a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the break between updates, but travel over the fourth of july kept me pretty busy!


	4. Kidnapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Merlin goes missing, Arthur and the knights are desperate to find him. What they find, however, is not quite what they expected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took longer than expected. i got diagnosed with a bad infection and the meds ruined my life so i literally could not find the strength to finish this until now. but all that aside, i hope you enjoy! we're getting steadily closer to the truth

 

Arthur couldn’t help the grin that took over his face when he saw young Balinor cradled in Merlin’s arms. The manservant walked beside his wife and made faces at the babe who was just a mere month old. “Let’s take a break,” he said to Leon, his current sparring partner. 

 

The king and his closest knights had gathered for a bit of early morning practice, meaning Merlin had the morning off to spend with his family. Although Arthur would never admit it, he’d been assigning less and less chores for the man so he could spend more time with little Bal. 

 

At the sight of the swords being stowed away, Merlin directed his steps toward the group. Arthur could see the knights’ expressions light up at seeing the child. Gwaine jogged to meet him halfway. “Alright, hand the lad over to Uncle Gwaine,” he demanded light-heartedly. 

 

Merlin laughed before checking with Freya to see if she agreed. After recieving a humoured nod, Merlin handed Balinor to Gwaine, albeit carefully. Once the babe was in Gwaine’s arms both parents watched him carefully. Gwaine pretended not to notice as he removed his glove (via his  _ teeth _ ) and offered Balinor his finger. 

 

“You already vying to be favourite uncle, Gwaine?” Merlin joked, but Gwaine merely shook his head. 

 

“That’ll be Arthur, not me. Once he can get his sorry head out of his arse he’ll realize how much little Balinor here deserves to be spoiled, you’ll see,” Gwaine said, looking over his shoulder to flash Arthur a cheeky grin. Somewhere behind him, the rest of the knights laughed. Arthur rolled his eyes and did not dignify the comment with a reply, but internally recognized that Gwaine was right. “Doesn’t mean I won’t try my hardest to be the favourite, though,” Gwaine continued. 

 

Arthur removed his gloves and walked over to them as well. “All right, my turn,” he told the roguish knight. Gwaine reluctantly handed the babe over. Once in his arms, Arthur offered Balinor a smile reserved just for him. Balinor reached up to touch his face and Freya cooed at the sight. 

 

“I’m sure you’d all love to hold him very much, but he’s almost due to be fed,” Merlin informed them, and the corners of Arthur’s mouth downturned to a frown. 

 

“Yes, we just came to see Papa off, didn’t we?” Freya said in a light voice as she took Balinor from his arms and cradled him to herself. Merlin leaned down and gave both his wife and son a quick kiss before they went home. 

 

“How’s fatherhood treating you then, Merlin?” Elyan asked once they all stood together. Merlin heaved a sigh. 

 

“I’ve gotten little to no sleep the past few weeks, but I’d do anything for him,” Merlin offered them a tired smile, and Arthur couldn’t help but think of his own impending fatherhood. Perhaps they’d hire someone to wake with the babe so he and Guinevere could get some sleep…

 

Percival gave Merlin a few pats on the back before breaking off to spar with Gwaine, and Leon and Elyan offered renewed congratulations before going to do the same. Then it was just Merlin and Arthur standing together. 

 

“I’m happy for you, Merlin,” Arthur offered, and Merlin grinned at him. 

 

“Thank you, Sire, and thank you for the advice you offered me. It’s made all of this a lot easier. I hear congratulations are in order for you as well. Gwen told me the good news.”

 

“Don’t mention it, Merlin,” Arthur placed a kind hand on Merlin’s shoulder, “and thank you.”

 

The friendly excahnge ended soon after, and despite himself Arthur sagged with relief. He had never done too well with openly expressing emotions. He had assigned Merlin some chores that needed doing and the manservant mentioned something about going to the forest for herbs later for Gaius. Once they parted ways, Arthur went back to supervising the training. 

 

Arthur couldn’t have imagined that anything terrible would happen that day, but somehow fate always had a way of proving him wrong. When some other servant showed up to serve Arthur and Guinevere their meals, he didn’t question it. Merlin’s absense at lunch was expected, he’d mentioned earlier that he’d be out gathering herbs. His absense at dinner was easily written off as spending the evening with his son. 

 

Being woken by Guinevere rather than Merlin the next morning was not unwelcome, but it was a little worrying. Usually if Merlin missed serving him because of his family, he always showed up and gave greater the next day. Although, the manservant had mentioned losing sleep because of the babe, so maybe he had just slept in.

 

It wasn’t until there was a frantic knock on the door and the sound of a babe’s wailing during breakfast that Arthur finally faced the truth. Something was wrong. 

 

“Enter,” Arthur called. The door swung open and Merlin’s wife, Freya, strode in. She cradled Balinor, who despite his mother’s efforts would not stop crying, in her arms. Arthur watched as her eyes scanned the room, and noticed when she wilted at the lack of something...or rather, some _ one.  _

 

“I’m sorry to bother you, your majesties…” Freya began, and Guinevere cut her off gently. 

 

“You’re not a bother, Freya. Speak freely, we are your friends!”

 

Freya nodded hesitantly. “I’m worried about Merlin. I haven’t seen him since I left him on the training field yesterday. He never came home, and I was wondering if perhaps you had seen him,” Freya explained, but her expression fell when neither royal offered her good news. 

 

“Perhaps Merlin merely came home after you went to sleep and left before you had awoken?” Guinevere tried, but Freya shook her head. 

 

“I was up in the night with Balinor. I never saw him. I just worry that maybe something happened… I’ve already asked Gaius, and he has not heard from Merlin either,” Freya said, and Arthur almost wanted to joke that the manservant was in the tavern, but he knew now was not the time. Freya took a step forward, but her legs nearly collapsed beneath her. Arthur and his wife both stood up to help the woman, but she caught herself on the table. 

 

“Arthur, I’m taking her to Gaius. Maybe he can give her something to calm her nerves. Will you watch Balinor while we’re gone?” Guinevere asked, and Arthur nodded silently and accepted the small child. Guinevere escorted Merlin’s wife from the room, whispering comforting words as they went. 

 

“Hello, Balinor,” Arthur smiled hesitantly and began to rock the baby. Slowly his cries soothed, but Arthur sensed the babe was still uneasy. So was Arthur, for that matter. It had been awhile since Merlin pulled one of disappearing stunts. In fact, he hadn’t done it since Freya had come to court (Arthur recalled traipsing through the woods to see where the servant had run off to, only to be shocked by the sight of Merlin kissing said woman). 

 

Arthur walked around the room cradling Balinor in his arms. It gave him a chance to really examine the babe’s features. With both the ears and the hair, Balinor really could have been a mini-Merlin. Arthur couldn’t remember with great detail, but he knew that Merlin’s son bore similar traits to his name sake, his grandfather. 

 

Balinor rarely opened his eyes. He had a good excuse, Arthur thought, being only a few weeks old, but still. He wished he could see Balinor’s eyes more, because they were the most brilliant blue. Though he was loathe to admit, it was like looking into Merlin’s eyes, which were familiar and comforting. 

 

It was two times now that Arthur had seen those eyes on someone else. First on Dragoon (that had been  _ odd  _ and rather unsettling) and now on Merlin’s own son. Arthur much preferred the latter. 

 

Balinor sneezed, and behind him there was a jarring sound. Arthur jumped in surprise as he saw important documents fly into the air. Had the babe’s eyes caught the light in an odd way a moment ago?  _ No, not possible…  _

 

When Balinor sneezed again- okay, his eyes had definitely flashed gold that time -the papers reorganized themselves. Arthur stared down at the young child in horror. Said child merely gazed up at him innocently before reaching up to pat at his face as he had done earlier. 

 

_ Balinor had magic!  _

 

This changed everything.    
  


Guinevere bustled into the room before Arthur could do anything about the latest revelation. “Gaius gave Freya a sleeping draught. That poor woman, she’s so tired. I promised to watch over Balinor while you see if you can find Merlin,” she said, sweeping the magical child out of his arms, “now, go. Find our friend.”

 

Arthur was pushed out of the room. He had half a mind to go back in there and tell Gwen about the magical abilities Balinor possessed, but he knew it could wait. Merlin might not have that time. 

 

Servants were ordered to ready the horses, and the Knights of the Round Table were summoned. Once he had explained the situation, they were all raring to go.

 

Gaius had given them a location where he prefered Merlin to gather herbs from, so they decided to start there. The spot was a bit farther out than expected, but even Merlin (who was on foot) should have been able to make it there and back before dark. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary, but Arthur told himself to not come to any hasty conclusions before knowing all of the facts. 

 

As they scoured the area, Arthur couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift back to the young child he’d left behind. If magic was truly evil (as Arthur had proclaimed many times before), how had a young innocent child come to possess it? There was no way Balinor even had the ability to learn magic, so had he been born with it?

 

_ Was it possible to be born evil? _

 

No, Arthur decided. Morgana certainly hadn’t been born evil. She had been one of the kindest people he knew before she chose magic. There was no way someone could be inherently evil.  The real question was, did that mean magic wasn’t inherently evil? Was it the wielder who chose how to use their power?

 

There was still much to think about and research, but if what he was thinking turned out to be true… No matter what the outcome was, no harm would come to Balinor. Arthur would help guide him, hopefully steer him away from the path his sister had taken, and make sure he was never persecuted over something he had no choice in. 

 

“Arthur! Over here!” Percival called, wrenching him from his thoughts. Everyone made their way over to where the summons had come from. Arthur’s heart dropped at the sight of it. 

 

Merlin’s neckerchief and a pool of blood rested ominously in the grass. Gwaine cursed off to the side, and Leon looked grim. “Sire, look, they left tracks,” Elyan pointed ahead. 

 

Elyan was indeed right. There were tracks, yes, but the kind that came from a body being dragged across the ground. Arthur was furious. 

 

“Mount your horses, men. We’re going to see where these tracks lead,” Arthur ordered, and was pleased to see no one hesitated. Arthur silently vowed that they would make whoever did this pay. He looked ahead diligently as the knights followed. The trail was easy enough to spot, and whoever had left it made no effort to hide its existence. Perhaps they thought no one would be bothered enough to see where it led. 

 

Hushed voices spoke from behind. “I don’t think it was bandits…they would have killed Merlin and been done with it. No use for taking him hostage. Perhaps it was slavers hoping to snag some easy prey?”

 

“Slavers? This close to the citadel?” Another voice hissed in disbelief. Arthur swallowed uneasily, and did not let his mind ponder the consequences if that guess turned out to be true. Rather, he pressed his horse into a gallop, and the knights scrambled to catch up. 

 

They kept at it for a few hours, but eventually there were all tired, sore, and hungry. They were losing light quickly. Arthur reigned in his mount and turned to face his men, who all looked a little weary. “We’ll make camp here for the evening. Spread the rations out between us, I don’t think we’ll manage a good hunt. If someone could get a fire going as well…”

 

Once everything had been done and all of them had eaten, they set up shifts for watch. Arthur volunteered for first watch, if only because he knew he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep right away. Worry for Merlin and thoughts of Balinor consumed his thoughts. When it finally was time to change shifts and get some sleep, his rest was uneasy. 

 

When Arthur blearily opened his eyes the next morning, he didn’t feel any better. The men helped pack away the camp, the only evidence that they had even been there was the smouldering remains of a fire. “Hyah,” he nudged his horse on, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. The rest of the knights followed. 

 

They picked up the trail again easily enough. The copious amounts of sunlight certainly helped. Gwaine pulled up beside him. “Arthur, we’ll find him. It’ll be alright. Besides, Merlin always bounces back,” he offered as a comfort. Arthur sighed and clasped the man’s shoulder. 

 

“You’re a good friend, Gwaine. To myself and Merlin,” Arthur replied. Gwaine accepted the comment with a firm nod before ducking back to rejoin the other knights. Arthur pulled back on the reigns as they reached the crest of the hill. 

 

“Sire, look!” Leon pointed east, where some smoke drifted into the sky. Sure enough, the tracks were headed that way as well. 

 

“Good work, Leon. Come on then! We can’t be too far behind them now,” Arthur galloped ahead, feeling some of the tension leave his chest. 

 

Arthur falters when they arrive. The camp is strewn with fallen bodies and in the middle of it all is Merlin. There’s blood running down the side of his head and his hands, and he’s swaying slightly in the breeze. 

 

“Merlin?” Gwaine is the first to break the eerie silence of the place. The man in question glances up and meets their eyes. It looks like he’s having a hard time focusing on anything- there’s blood falling  _ into  _ his eyes! -and he takes an unbalanced step toward them. 

 

Arthur rushes forward to catch Merlin as his legs buckle unexpectedly. Merlin’s grabbing his head and hissing in pain as Arthur slowly lowers him toward the ground. Gwaine runs toward them, and the others follow albeit slower.

 

“Ar...thur?”

 

“Yeah, Merlin, it’s me,” he tries to laugh but it sounds strangled, “you’re going to be  _ fine.”  _ Merlin begins to respond, but his eyes flutter closed and they don’t open again. 

 

Arthur scans him for injuries and sees multiple. There are awful cuff-shaped burns on his wrists and slices littered across his arms and torso. The wound on Merlin’s head bleeds heavily, and his breathing sounds strained. 

 

“Arthur,” Percival calls, and Arthur looks up to see a pair of cuffs dangling from his fingers. Runes were carved on to the metal, a possible explanation for the strange burns Merlin now sports. 

 

“Our hunch was correct. These look like slavers,” Elyan says, scanning the bodies warily. “Thing is, there’s hardly a mark on them…” 

 

They all glance at each other uneasily, and then at Merlin. Everything they’ve learned about the manservant this past year, and now this… Things are starting to add up to something Arthur doesn’t like. However, he chooses not to think about it, rather about how he can help his friend. 

 

Gwaine pulls Merlin’s neckerchief from his saddle. He must have grabbed it back in the forest when they’d discovered Merlin’s blood. He presses it against the side of Merlin’s head, an attempt to stop the bleeding. Leon fetches some cloth from his own saddle and tries to wrap Merlin’s arms. 

 

“He needs Gaius,” Arthur says finally. The others agree, and once they’re done patching him up to the best of their ability they move him onto Arthur’s horse. They hurry back to Camelot and try not to think about the carnage left behind, and what it’s done to their friend. 

 

Freya awaits them on the steps of the castle with Balinor in her arms. She lets out a distressed noise when Arthur heft’s Merlin’s unconscious body off of the horse, and Balinor begins to cry. It’s almost as if he can sense that his father is unwell. Although, for all Arthur knows, a magical babe could do such a thing. 

 

They make their way towards Gaius’ chambers, Freya on their heels. Gaius goes straight to work, cleaning the wounds and brewing potions for pain. When Merlin does wake, none of the knights ask Merlin just how the slavers were defeated. They don’t want to know, Arthur thinks. Neither does he. Arthur won’t begrudge them a chance to pretend that what happened has a normal explanation. For now, all that matters is that Merlin’s going to be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! before you exit the page though, here's a link to the mini fic i wrote from merlin's pov featuring little balinor!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/19727974
> 
> feel free to subscribe to the series that both this and the mini fic are in, i'll be adding new works from time to time


	5. Crystal of Neahtid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin glimpses a horrible future. Arthur and his knights are left to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BBC SHOULD HAVE GIVEN US DAD!MERLIN WE WERE ROBBED  
> also this is...  
> this is really sad

 

After having been brought back to Camelot, Merlin became the only one with the ability to calm Balinor. The willful babe refused to be separated from his father. It was definitely something to do with the magic, allowing Balinor to sense that his father had been in danger. 

 

It had only taken a few failed attempts to return to work before Merlin decided that he could be parent and servant both. Arthur tried to insist that Merlin could have the time off, but Merlin was stubborn. It seemed Balinor had inherited the trait. 

 

Now on any given day Merlin could be seen roaming the halls with a babe strapped to his chest or back with some strange cloth-wrap contraption. When Arthur had laughed at the sight, Merlin shot him a death glare that could scare away even the Dorocha. Arthur hadn’t laughed again. 

 

Arthur almost envied him. When it was time to have his own child, there would be a barrier between them that Merlin and Balinor did not have. He would have to play both king and father, raising an heir and a child. Merlin was free to love his son openly and affectionately, and watch Balinor choose his future and use his magic as (hopefully) a force for good. 

 

Arthur hadn’t told Merlin and Freya that he knew the truth about their son. Balinor’s parents doted on him, catering to his every whim. Despite having wrought havoc on Merlin’s sleeping schedule (per the dark bags underneath the man’s eyes), Arthur knew that Merlin would do anything to see his son safe and loved. Arthur couldn’t bare to see Merlin harbor suspicion or hatred in his eyes, thinking his son’s head could be next on the chopping block, if he told them that he  _ knew _ . 

 

Maybe Merlin and Freya didn’t even know, but that was doubtful. 

 

Arthur sat at his desk, reading over the latest tax report, but found he couldn’t get through a line without being distracted. “Would you quit that?” Arthur grumbled, and Merlin pretended not to hear him as he hummed some tune for Balinor. 

 

Arthur groaned in displeasure as the blasted tune continued. Balinor merely laughed at his suffering, opening and closing his tiny hands, waving around his little arms, and kicking his legs happily. Merlin looked away from his task to smile adoringly at his son.

 

If the humming made Balinor happy, Arthur supposed he could ignore it. Merlin continued to move around the room, tidying and polishing. However, Balinor became uneasy. Occasionally Merlin would stop to bounce Balinor, trying to cease the crying that grew ever louder.

 

“I think he’s hungry, I’m going to take him to Freya,” Merlin said, going for the door, but Arthur rose and spoke before he could. 

 

“I’ll accompany you, at least on the way out of the castle. I need to go to the training grounds anyway,” Arthur explained. Merlin nodded before continuing. The thing about the training fields was a lie, but Merlin didn’t need to know that. Ever since Balinor had begun accompanying Merlin to his duties, his chambers feel lifeless and stifling without the incoherent babbling of the babe. He didn’t want to stay in there. 

 

They went their separate ways when they reached the courtyard, Arthur to train and Merlin to see his loving wife. Arthur didn’t have long to train, however, because the warning bells began to ring. With a defeated sigh, he returned to the castle.

 

Arthur reunited with Merlin in the courtyard. The manservant looked a little out of breath, having run all the way back, but at least he left Balinor to the care of Freya. They both made their way to the council room, hoping to discover the reason behind the bells. 

 

-

 

Apparently someone had attempted to break into the vaults. One man had been caught in the act, but the lookout for him had managed to escape. While guards searched for the second man, Arthur summoned his knights to meet him in the vaults. 

 

Merlin dutifully followed Arthur down to survey the items in their keep and ensure that none had been stolen. Seeing as how the runaway was the lookout, never even going into the vault, it was unlikely he’d taken anything but it was still a precaution they were going to take.

 

“Merlin, mate, how are you?” Gwaine asked with a grin as he approached, swinging an arm around Merlin’s shoulders. “Princess here isn’t working you too hard is he?” 

 

“Ah, no. I’m feeling much better now, thank you,” Merlin offered. Arthur grimaced at the thought of Merlin injured in that field, and he’s glad that the manservant seems to be healed. They’d later discovered that he’d been clobbered round the head while gathering herbs, having not heard the slavers approach. He’d only woken hours later where Arthur and his men eventually found Merlin. No one, however, had dared to inquire how he had managed to break free and defeat all of those men. 

 

Arthur, Merlin, and the knights exchanged greetings before getting to work. They perused the items, cataloguing and inventorying and ensuring that everything was there. Really, anyone could have done the job, but Arthur was glad for the company. It was nice to be near his friends when there was no impending doom hanging over them. 

 

Gwaine made a raunchy joke and Percival snorted, giving him a playful shove .  The man didn’t know his own strength it seemed, as Gwaine stumbled into a stand, knocking a small chest off of it. Beside Arthur, Merlin faltered and paled, staring at it. 

 

Gwaine went to pick it up, but Merlin was there in an instant, pushing Gwaine out of the way. 

 

“Easy there, Merlin,” Gwaine tried to laugh, but received no reply. Merlin seemed almost trance like, as he held the small chest reverently before going to open the lid. 

 

In an instant, Merlin went very still. It was only the calm before the storm, however, as he suddenly began to tremble harshly. 

 

“Merlin?” Leon asked uneasily, all of their attention on the manservant. No reply came. Arthur peered over to see what had caused such a rapid change in attitude, and it took him a moment to recognize the magical artifact. 

 

The Crystal of Neahtid.

 

Merlin gazed into the crystal, shaken by something no one else could see. All of the knights surrounded him, growing more concerned after each call went unanswered. Merlin fell to his knees, and to the horror of them all, began to scream. The sound of it was loud, raw, and terrified. 

 

It took Arthur a moment to come to his senses, but when he did he wrenched the thing from Merlin’s hands, throwing it violently into the wall. The chest of wood exploded into splinters, but the crystal fell to the ground, unharmed. 

 

Merlin stopped his screaming and looked up at all of them. Arthur’s heart shattered when their eyes met, and he saw the emotion buried in the man. He knelt before his friend, bringing Merlin into his arms, and held him as he cried into Arthur’s shoulder. 

 

No one said anything as Merlin’s sobs filled the room. They all looked between each other uneasily until Merlin’s cries petered out, having exhausted himself and fallen into a restless sleep. 

 

“What the bloody hell was that?” Gwaine was the first to speak, eloquent as ever. Arthur released a shaky breath he hadn’t known he was holding, carefully scooping Merlin up and rising to his feet. 

 

“We should get him to Gaius, see what he can tell us,” Arthur offered, trying to keep his voice steady when it so obviously wasn’t. 

 

They journeyed once again to Gaius’s chambers, much too soon after their last visit for Arthur’s tastes. “Do you think this could be related to...you know?” Elyan queuried, and Arthur lamented being able to pretend that Merlin wasn’t what he so obviously was. His chest ached to think that Merlin couldn’t trust him enough to tell him. 

 

No one answered Elyan, but the silence was answer enough. 

 

The flights of stairs seemed to never end, but when they did Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. They rushed towards the chambers, Gaius giving a shout of surprise as the door banged open. “Quick, set him over here,” Gaius said once he’d recovered from the shock, and Arthur quickly complied. 

 

Once set on the cot, Merlin began to toss and turn uneasily, mumbling in his sleep. Gaius looking him over, checking his vitals and making sure he wasn’t in any immediate danger before turning to the men. “What happened?!”

 

It took a moment for Arthur to regain his voice, but he managed to reply. “He...he looked into the Crystal of Neahtid…”

 

Gaius rounded on Merlin in an instant. “You foolish boy!” Gaius hissed furiously, before sighing, seemingly resigned. “Thank you for bringing him to me. I will care for him,” the physician continued, sounding tired. 

 

“Gaius, why would looking at some dumb crystal do that to him? Will he be alright?” Gwaine underestimated the power of the crystal, not having been there when it almost became a weapon against Camelot. 

 

“The crystal possesses power. More specifically, the power to show one a vision of the future,” Gaius explained gravely, glancing down at Merlin’s whimpering form. 

 

“So a vision of some...future did this to him?” Percival asked, and Gaius nodded.

 

“Of a possible future, yes. Merlin has had such visions from the crystal before, and I have repeatedly warned him against looking into such a thing-”

 

“I don’t think Merlin knew what he was doing,” Arthur interrupted hastily. Gaius looked at him questioningly. “He practically shoved Gwaine out of the way to get to it, and his eyes were...empty. He looked like he was in some sort of trance-like state.”

 

“Ah,” Gaius nodded, “I’ve heard of such things happening before. Some find themselves unable to ignore the call of the crystal, and will do anything to answer its summons,” he explained. 

 

“But why would it call to Merlin?” Leon asked, and everyone tensed. They all knew the answer, too scared to say it. 

 

“That is an answer I do not have, Sir Leon. I’m afraid we’ll only know once Merlin wakes and can tell us what he saw.”

 

A noise drew their focus towards the body on the cot. Merlin gasped and shot up quickly. “Morgana,” he breathed, eyes blown wide. 

 

Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, Merlin shot past all of them and into the hall. “Dammit, Merlin!” Arthur hissed before running after the man, the other knights right behind him. 

 

Merlin managed to outrun all of them, out of the castle and into the courtyard, then down into the lower town. As they chased after him, Arthur began to recognize the path Merlin was taking them towards, the manservant’s home. 

 

Merlin practically tore the door off its hinges once they’d reached his home, but he stopped abruptly at whatever was inside. “No…!” He cried weakly. The others pulled up behind him, freezing in horror at the sight. 

 

_ Morgana. _

 

Morgana held little Balinor in her arms, who was crying and screaming louder than Arthur thought possible for his tiny lungs. The witch muttered a spell, sending Freya into the wall and knocking her unconscious. Arthur registered dimly how Freya’s body seemed to collapse into itself before turning into a puddle of water, seeping into the ground. Merlin let out a choked sob. 

 

Suddenly Morgana was uttering another spell. Merlin, who seemed to recognize it, let out a terrible scream, running towards them. “Goodbye, Emrys,” she grinned wickedly. A whirlwind encompassed Morgana and the babe, and by the time Merlin reached them there was nothing left but the empty air.

 

Merlin collapsed to the ground, desperately reaching for a family no longer there. 

 

Arthur and his knights held their friend as he wept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one chapter left :))))))))  
> (but there will be a series)


	6. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, there is no surprise. 
> 
> Well, Merlin's a little surprised, but that's his own fault, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO LONG WOW
> 
> also its got a lot of fluff to make up for all the hate i got last time lol
> 
> enjoy!

 

The small house was in shambles, not fit for anyone to remain in. Arthur doubted Merlin wanted to spend even one more second in it anyway, a painful reminder of the family that had been ripped from him. Gently, he and his knights coaxed Merlin away from the sight and back towards Gaius’ chambers.

 

Merlin was despondent the entire way, neither acknowledging what had just happened or the men helping him. Gaius directed Merlin to his old chambers, where the small cot still remained tucked away. After giving Merlin a sleeping draught, the physician returned to the anxious knights. 

 

“What happened?” Gaius demanded, and just like earlier, it was up to Arthur to explain the manservant’s distress. 

 

“Morgana,” Arthur began and Gaius’ eyes widened, “she was in his home. I can’t be sure exactly what happened, but I think she...she killed Freya. Her body just  _ collapsed  _ into water! Then, Morgana used some spell to transport out of the home, and she took Balinor with her. Before she vanished, Morgana called Merlin by some other name...”

 

Gaius ran a weary hand over his face. “Did she call him Emrys?”

 

“How could you know that?” Leon asked in turn, eyes widening, obviously surprised. 

 

“I’m afraid I cannot tell you, for it is not my secret to share.”

 

“Is it something to do with his...powers?” Gwaine asked hesitantly, and it was Gaius’ turn to look surprised. “You can tell us, Gaius, we all just about figured it for ourselves.”

 

Gaius nodded. “Then I suppose the time for secrets is over. Emrys is the name the druids have for Merlin. Emrys is believed to be the most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth. He is prophesied to aid the Once and Future King in returning magic to the land,” he explained, but Arthur froze at the second title. 

 

“I’ve heard of this Once and Future King in reference to myself, actually. Are you saying that I’m supposed to legalize magic with Merlin’s help?” Arthur asked, and let out an astonished breath as Gaius nodded.

 

“Indeed. I can also tell you that whatever you saw done to Freya, it did not kill her. You cannot kill that which is already dead. She has merely returned to her resting place, the Lake of Avalon.”

 

All of the men reeled at this.  _ Freya was already dead? _ How could that have been possible, when less than a few months ago she had created a life? And then, at the mention of a lake, everything seemed to fall into place. 

 

“The lake…” Elyan gasped, “the lake where we saw them?” They nodded at each other while Gaius glanced between them, clearly miffed at being out of the know for once. Arthur supposed that if Merlin was some powerful warlock of legend and had magical progeny, then it only made sense that he had some dead magical lake lady for a wife. 

 

“We must journey to the lake at once and bring Freya back with us,” Arthur ordered, and the knights scrambled to follow his command.

 

If the past year had taught him anything, it was that Merlin had sacrificed much for Arthur, and had used his magic as a force for good in order to save Arthur and Camelot many times over. 

 

Arthur did not deserve Merlin’s loyalty. If going after Merlin’s family even began to repay the great debt Arthur owed his greatest friend, he would do it a thousand times over. 

 

Arthur was the last to leave the room. As he gazed up towards the sleeping body on the cot, he vowed that he would help Merlin bring his family home. “Good luck, my boy. It has truly been a privilege to watch you grow into the great king you are today,” Gaius offered, and Arthur returned his affections with a grim smile and a nod before exiting. 

 

No one had forgotten the path to the lake. It seemed that the memory of such an odd scene had engraved itself in their memory, and for that Arthur was thankful. 

 

“We know how to get Freya back, but what about Balinor? We’ve had no luck tracking Morgana since retaking the kingdom, surely now will be no different,” Percival reasoned, and Arthur dreaded to think about the implications of the statement. 

 

“Once we have both Freya and Merlin back with us, we’ll find a way. If I know Merlin, he’ll stop at nothing to find the boy,” Arthur replied, trying to sound hopeful. It seemed to satiate the men for the moment. 

 

The rest of the journey was spent in mostly tense silence, and the anxiety seemed to become only more palpable when they reached the lake. Arthur and the knights dismounted, cautiously approaching the shore. 

 

“Freya?” Gwaine called out across the waters, jumping back a little when it started to ripple and bubble furiously. Arthur felt his jaw slacken at the sight.

 

A figure emerged from within the lake. It only took a moment to identify it as Freya, looking both powerful and  _ angry _ . The woman walked across the water to meet them, and Arthur was surprised by her appearance. Despite all that had just happened, she looked healthier than she had in the past months. The bags under her eyes from sleepless nights were gone, and the weight left behind from carrying a child had vanished. It was as if the lake water had restored her. 

 

Around him, the men were also gaping. Freya’s expression calmed when she stood directly across from them. “Thank you for coming. Although I am free to leave the lake’s borders, I must first be summoned.”

 

The men continued to gape. “If you’re dead, then how...how are you here?” Arthur asked. “Why do you have to be  _ summoned  _ from some sort of lake?!”

 

Freya managed a smile. “Merlin saved me,” she sighed fondly. “I was dying and he brought me here. He laid my body to rest on this very lake. Merlin didn’t know, however, that it was a gateway to the afterlife, and it needed a guardian. I was brought back to watch over it, and given leave to be with my husband,” Freya explained, gazing out over the lake.

 

“Why were you sent back here now? How did you die?” Arthur continued. 

 

“Morgana’s spell was meant to kill, but I am not quite alive. I was sent back to the lake to be healed. As for your second question, I was killed by you, Arthur Pendragon,” Freya replied, and despite the damning words, she seemed calm, not resentful. 

 

Arthur’s knights turned their eyes on the king, obviously demanding some sort of explanation, but he had nothing to offer them. “I don’t even remember meeting you before this year! How can I have killed you?!” He demanded, shocked at the accusation. 

 

“You may not remember doing it, but you will remember why you did it. I was cursed to turn into a bastet every night, forced to kill. I  _ hated  _ it. Merlin rescued me from bounty hunters, but he did not know the truth until it was too late. I changed and came across you in the citadel one night in the beast’s form, and you dealt me a mortal blow,” Freya offered, and she must have seen the horrified look on his face because the woman began to smile. What she said next surprised him even more. 

 

“Fret not. I do not blame you, nor does my husband. In fact, we  _ thank  _ you. You freed me from my curse, and gave Merlin and I a chance to be together!”

 

Arthur scrambled to say something, offer an apology anyway, but she cut him off. “Leave it, Arthur,” Freya smiled wryly, before tensing. “We do not have time to waste. I can sense Balinor’s distress, even now… Where is my husband?”

 

After informing her of Merlin’s whereabouts, they hurried back to Camelot. Tension hung heavily in the air, and once more no one spoke as they galloped at breakneck speeds.

 

Merlin was awake when they returned, but he was still despondent, staring emptily at the wall. He didn’t even notice Arthur’s presence, let alone Freya’s. They watched uneasily as the woman approached her husband. 

 

“Merlin?” Freya called tentatively. He did not react. She knelt carefully before him, moving her hand to caress his cheek. Merlin sighed, leaning into the touch.

 

“Freya…” Merlin whispered, voice hoarse from screaming. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief while Merlin smiled remorsefully. He leaned forward and drew her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. 

 

When they broke apart, both of their eyes were misty, but no one commented on it. Merlin stood up, looking stronger than he had earlier as if he was drawing on Freya’s newfound strength. It was plausible with everything else going on, at any rate. “We’re going to get Balinor back,” he said to his wife, suddenly determined. “I’ll need your help trying to track Morgana. Let’s go back to the house and see what we can find,” Merlin offered, glancing warily at the rest of the men. 

 

Ah. Arthur had forgotten that Merlin was unaware they knew. 

 

Freya made to do as he said, but Merlin stayed behind for a moment, staring resolutely at Arthur. “Thank you for bringing her back to me,” he spoke softly. “I suppose you know about the lake, then?” Arthur nodded. “And you’re fine with it?” Merlin sounded surprised but looked even more so when Arthur nodded again. 

 

“You’re a good friend, Arthur. You should go see Gwen, make sure she wasn’t caught up in all of this,” Merlin waved noncommittally. “And thank you all for your help, too. I won’t ask you to get involved further,” he said, directed towards all of them. 

 

“Merlin,” Gwaine growled, almost angrily. “If you think I’m not helping you get your son back, you’ve got something else coming,” he threatened. Merlin looked at the knight, clearly surprised. 

 

“I wish to help as well,” Percival piped up, “besides, Balinor is rather adorable.”

 

“And I,” Elyan said, offering Merlin a fond smile. 

 

Merlin’s shocked gaze, which had landed on Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan, moved to Leon as he too spoke up. “You’re a good man, Merlin. I’m at your service.”

 

And then it was Arthur’s turn. 

 

“You’ve done so much for me, Merlin, been my friend for so long. Did you really think I would turn my back on you now?”

 

Arthur placed a firm, comforting hand on Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin clasped his arm in return, nodding and giving him a smile. Nothing else needed to be said between the men at that moment. 

 

“You are right, however, that I should check on Guinevere. While I’m doing that, I want you men to ready for a journey. We don’t know how long we’ll be gone or how far we’re going, so be prepared. Merlin, go see what you can find.”

 

Guinevere was already resting in bed by the time he saw her. The sun was going down, and his wife was getting more tired each day they came closer to the arrival of their child. “Hello, Arthur!” She smiled sweetly, setting down her book and indicated for her to sit on the empty space beside her. 

 

“Good evening, Guinevere,” Arthur began, “you’re feeling well? Nothing...terrible happened to you today?” 

 

“Goodness, no! I’m fine,” Guinevere laughed, but trailed off when she noticed his pained expression. “Arthur… what’s happened?” She asked, worry in her voice. 

 

Arthur sighed, dreading her reaction to the news. “Morgana entered the citadel today… She left shortly after we discovered her, but she’s taken Balinor.” He tensed, awaiting her reply. 

 

“ _ What?! _ ” Guinevere exclaimed. “She’s truly taken Balinor? What of Merlin and Freya? Are they alright?”

 

Arthur nodded. “It’s true. Merlin and Freya are fine. They’ve just gone back to your old house to see if Morgana left any clue of where she might have taken him. No matter what they find, we ride tomorrow to search for him.”

 

“Good. Knowing you and Merlin, you’ll both stop at nothing to see him returned safely home,” she affirmed, running a soft hand over his own. Arthur sighed and nodded before readying himself for bed, desperate to be close to his own wife and child. 

 

-

 

When morning came, Merlin was there to wake them. The manservant feigned cheeriness, but while he set out the meal and prepared things for the journey, Arthur could see the fear behind the mask. Merlin couldn’t stop glancing down at his chest, as if he expected to see little Balinor strapped there as he had only been a day prior. The absence of the child and his little mannerisms made the chambers feel cold and lifeless. 

 

“Merlin, you really don’t have to be the one attending us today. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you,” Guinevere tried to coax.

 

“It’s alright, Gwen, really. It’s helping me take my mind off the situation if anything. I need that familiarity right now,” Merlin shrugged before placing a plate in front of the queen. When he began to pull away, Guinevere grabbed his hand and gave it a tight, reassuring squeeze. 

 

Later when Merlin helped Arthur into his armor, he informed the king that he and Freya had come across something in their home, and they believed that Morgana had taken Balinor to the Isle of the Blessed. The information gave Arthur a little bit more confidence about the journey, knowing they wouldn’t be going in blind.  

 

Freya and Guinevere were both there to see them off. Arthur pressed a kiss to his wife’s forehead and bid her farewell before walking over to Merlin and Freya, who were saying their own goodbyes. When Merlin was finished, Arthur turned to the petite woman (who despite being small was rather powerful, he now knew). 

 

“We’ll find him, I promise you,” Arthur vowed. Freya nodded in thanks, seeming not to trust herself to speak. The woman moved to go stand by Guinevere’s side, sending a lasting and sincere look at Merlin. 

 

The men mounted their horses, which all seemed to be cantering uneasily. Arthur spurred his horse ahead, glad to be getting out of the citadel. He hoped that the next time he saw it, Balinor would be returned to them. 

 

Merlin rode beside him, glancing occasionally back at the space behind him, looking almost guilty. Arthur looked over his shoulder, trying to see if anything was out of the ordinary. Nothing seemed out of place, but Merlin looked back yet again. “What’s on your mind?” He finally asked. 

 

Merlin looked at Arthur, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure you want to accompany me? There’s still time for you to turn back.” Arthur tilted his head, surprised at the statement. 

 

“I’m accompanying you whether you like it or not, Merlin. I’m sure all these men would agree with me,” Arthur said firmly, staring Merlin down. 

 

“You don’t owe me anything, you know,” Merlin continued to press. Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin’s train of thought. 

 

“I don’t do this because I owe you. I do this because I care about you, you idiot! Your son, too. This has nothing to do with whatever debts I may have to repay. You matter, Merlin. Never think otherwise,” Arthur stressed, not noticing or caring that the knights had quieted to tune into their conversation. 

 

“You really mean that?” Merlin questioned, eyes full of awe and hope. 

 

“I do.”

 

Arthur didn’t let the conversation go much further. He didn’t need or even want to hear Merlin continue to doubt himself and his own importance. The king regretted ever having called Merlin a coward and so many other names. If anything, Merlin was the bravest man he’d ever met. 

 

However, if Merlin continued his self-sacrificing and putting others happiness before his own, perhaps he really  _ was  _ an idiot. 

 

Gwaine, having sensed that Merlin needed his mind occupied on something other than worry for his son, tried to change the subject. “So Merlin, this wife of yours… Why don’t you tell us more of how you managed to convince a magical lake goddess to fall for you?” The rogue asked, grinning cheekily when Merlin choked on air. 

 

“I should of figured you all knew the truth when you were the ones to retrieve her from the lake,” Merlin scoffed, “I was  _ out  _ of it yesterday, the thought barely even crossed my mind. You’ll want the whole story I suppose?”

 

“Aye,” Gwaine replied, laughing. Around him, the other knights seemed curious about the secret love story. 

 

“Some of what I told you when I introduced you to her was the truth, but just...not all of it. We met in Camelot, that much is true. I had only worked for Arthur for a little over a year at the time. I was finishing up my rounds with Gaius one night, and on our way back to the castle I saw her…” Merlin began, but his voice sounded sad.

 

“She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but she was so afraid. A man, Halig I believe his name was, had captured her. He’d planned to offer her in return for the bounty King Uther offered for the capture of a druid,” Merlin paused here to gauge their reactions at the news of his beloved being a druid. When no one showed any sign of hostility or anger, he continued. 

 

“There was nothing I could do then, but later that night I snuck out and freed her from her cage. I hid her away in the tunnels as long as I could, bringing her food from Arthur’s plate,” Merlin continued, though he stopped to laugh at the last bit. “I don’t know if you remember that, Arthur, but you were quite indignant about your sausages!”

 

“Why, you-!” Arthur spluttered angrily. “I  _ knew  _ there had been more food there!  _ You  _ said it was part of some new diet to keep me from getting fat!” The knights could not contain their raucous laughter, and Arthur’s cheeks colored when he remembered they had an audience. 

 

When the knights managed to reign themselves in, Merlin soldiered on with the tale. “I felt I could truly be myself around her. I don’t know, it sounds silly out loud…”

 

“No, it’s not. Don’t stop, Merlin,” Leon smiled, and Merlin took a breath.

 

“I fell in love with her, I suppose. I didn’t know that she was cursed, though. A long time ago, a man attacked her. She defended herself, but in doing so Freya killed the man. His mother later sought her out and cursed her to kill forevermore for what she did to her son. Every night, against her will she turned into a bastet and killed,” Merlin explained but seemed surprised when no one was too shocked by the news.

 

“I suppose you already knew that bit too, then. Well, before I knew all that, we had planned to leave Camelot, and run away together.”

 

“ _ What?!”  _ Arthur shouted in horror. “You were really just going to run away?” He couldn’t believe it. Percival, Elyan, and Leon seemed to share his disbelief, but Gwaine seemed oddly pleased at the news, saying something about how he knew Merlin had it in him all along…

 

“I...I suppose?” Merlin defended himself, clearly not having expected Arthur’s loud reaction. “I mean, we were in love! I wanted to be with her, but it wasn’t possible in Camelot, at least not under Uther’s reign. We were going to live somewhere with a lake, and mountains,” here, Merlin smiled sadly, “but she didn’t want me to throw away my life.”

 

“I decided to sneak her out disguised as a noblewoman. When I tried to leave with one of Morgana’s dresses, you lot thought I was cross-dressing,” Merlin grumbled, and Elyan barked out a laugh. 

 

“Freya ran off while I was preparing, and by the time I had returned, it was too late. I took her to the lake of Avalon, so she could see the beautiful waters and mountains one last time. She...she died, and I buried her there.”

 

“Little did I know that she would be chosen as the Lady of the Lake,” Merlin laughed, “I found out when you lot were knighted. She reached out to me, told me about the Cup of Life and it’s consequences. Later, when it was all settled, I went to the lake and we were married in Avalon. When it was discovered that she was with child…” Merlin choked up, having reminded himself of his son’s fate, but he managed to finish the tale. 

 

“Well, the Sidhe gave her leave of the Lake when they found out. I believe you’re all caught up, then,” Merlin finished, spurring his horse forward to be at the front of the group where no one could ask him anything else. Arthur and the knights slowed their own pace, wanting to give the man his space. 

 

Looking back on the tale, it seemed like there were some parts missing. Merlin must have still been under the impression that they didn’t know the truth and edited out some of the more damning bits of the story. 

 

“Everything I learn about that man just makes my respect for him grow,” Gwaine huffed, both in awe of and displeased at the sacrifices Merlin had made for them. Arthur had to agree. His friend needn’t have suffered like that, but time and time again he placed others before himself. 

 

Now, at least, they could attempt to be there for Merlin like he’d been there for them. 

 

In retrospect, Arthur hadn’t been much of a friend. Sure, he’d usually been able to pick up on when Merlin was down (his interaction with the manservant around the time the bastet had been killed made a  _ lot  _ more sense now), but emotions usually had him running in the opposite direction. 

 

His wife, Guinevere, had been the only one to successfully break down that barrier. Arthur didn’t have a choice but to face his feelings for her. It was a lot easier to hide behind the playful jabs that came along with Merlin’s friendship. 

 

Arthur had just never expected Merlin to be hiding behind the familiar banter as well. 

 

How could Arthur blame him? Merlin was living in fear for his life every day. His closest friends just happened to also be his worst enemies. In the fight against magic, no one had shown themselves to be someone Merlin could confide in. The manservant had lost so much to Arthur’s family. Merlin’s father to Uther, his wife to Arthur, and now his son to Morgana. Why had Merlin stuck by him so faithfully?

 

-

 

As the group approached the Isle of the Blessed, Merlin seemed to grow more uncomfortable. His shoulders tensed and his eyes were devoid of the light that made him  _ Merlin.  _ The manservant’s grip on the reins if his horse was so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

 

Arthur felt some of the unease wash over him as well. Not only was the Isle where they would save or lose Balinor, but it was also where Lancelot made his fateful sacrifice. 

 

Arthur had later learned that both Lancelot and Guinevere were enchanted during their little risque rendezvous. It gave him some solace about the noble man he once knew. It hadn’t destroyed all that Lancelot died for. 

 

Gwaine took a swig from a bladder of ale that he’d managed to bring along. Leon looked on enviously. “Give it here,” he ordered, gesturing impatiently before taking a swig himself. Soon enough the skin had made its way around the group (all except Merlin, that is). Arthur felt some of the tension leave his own shoulders as the ale gave him a buzz. 

 

Once they reached the water, Arthur and the men had to dismount and leave their horses behind. A lone boat sat on the water, the tiny waves lapping at its side, and once they had all clambered inside it seemed to move of its own accord. It probably had something to do with Merlin, though, as everything seemed to these days. 

 

No matter what was moving the boat, it was still a little unnerving. Arthur was relieved when the little trip was over and his feet were back on solid ground. However, the feeling didn’t last for long. Soon the air became charged with...something. It made his hair stand on end gave him goose skin. 

 

“Morgana,” Merlin growled as they entered some sort of old courtyard. Indeed, the witch was there, standing over an entirely too still and pale Balinor laid out on an alter. Arthur’s heart dropped.  _ Had they been too late? _

 

Merlin took in the state of his son around the same time as the other knights did. Arthur watched, devastated, as Merlin’s hands began to tremble and his lips quivered. Despite this, the manservant remained standing, the look in his eyes hardening as it turned back to Morgana. 

 

“You will regret ever hurting him,” Merlin warned, voice thick with emotion. Morgana merely laughed.

 

“Oh, Emrys, you know so little,” she teased, and Merlin flinched at the mention of that name. “My visions revealed this to me. The child’s power, there is so much of it! My, my, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?  _ Emrys! _ ” Morgana spat the title like an insult. 

 

“My visions showed me the truth about you. When I heard you’d had a child, I knew he’d be useful. His powers are  _ mine  _ now, and I will use what is left of him to destroy you!” The sky darkened, and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Arthur began to gasp, trying to draw in a breath that wouldn’t come. Around him, the knights seemed to fight the same battle. Merlin was the only one of them that didn’t seem to have a problem. 

 

“His  _ name  _ was  _ Balinor!  _ He was just a  _ child! _ ” Merlin roared, going to charge at the woman, but Arthur barely managed to hold him back, still choking for air. Despite his imminent suffocation, Arthur worried what Merlin’s brashness to cost him. 

 

When Arthur’s hand had caught Merlin, it was like the man had remembered they were also present. He took in their state, eyes widening as they fell to their knees, clawing at their throats. Morgana smiled gleefully. 

 

“What’ll it be Emrys? Reveal yourself and save them, dooming yourself, or condemn your precious king to the same fate you doomed me to all those years ago? Asphyxiation, whether it be by magic or poison, is an awful way to go!” Arthur dimly wondered what Morgana meant by that, but he was struggling to keep coherent thought. The little amounts of air he was managing to get wasn’t enough. 

 

“I don’t care what Arthur does to me, as long as you’re dead when he does it,” Merlin replied, voice low and dangerous. Arthur struggled to keep his eyes open. Merlin turned around for a moment, looking remorseful. “I’m sorry it had to end like this…”

 

The sky flashed purples and reds as the two fought. Arthur fell in and out of consciousness as the battle raged on, only glimpsing and hearing bits and pieces of it. 

 

“Ástríce!” Merlin called, and Morgana shrieked, the sound followed by a sickening crunch as she was thrown into a wall.

 

“Hleap on bæc!” This time it was Morgana who cast the spell, but Merlin threw up some sort of shield to protect himself. He fought harder to stay awake, but every breath he struggled more. 

 

“Forbærne! Ácwele!” Morgana yelled once more, and this time Merlin cried out in pain as a ball of fire hit his arm. Arthur’s eyes fluttered closed, though he fought valiantly to open them again. Merlin called out something, and Arthur felt the sword in his sheath being pulled out. 

 

“I am a high priestess! None of your little tricks can kill me!” Morgana laughed at the sight of what must have been Merlin wielding  _ Excalibur _ . 

 

“Funny, that’s… Nimeuh thought before… killed her,” Merlin’s voice faded in and out, Arthur struggling to hear over the sound of his own heart beating furiously, trying to keep him alive. 

 

“You… Nimueh? No matter… I… more… than her! No mortal blade-” Arthur fought to hear Morgana’s response, but it wasn’t his heartbeat that overpowered her words. Suddenly Arthur could  _ breathe _ , and now Morgana was the one choking for air. 

 

Arthur dimly made out Merlin standing over Morgana’s prone form,  _ Excalibur  _ buried in her abdomen, while he gasped hungrily at the air. Percival clambered to his feet first, and the others followed, albeit unsteadily. 

 

“Goodbye, Morgana,” Merlin whispered, emotionless as he pulled the blade free. As Morgana’s life faded from her, the manservant, no  _ warlock _ (no denying it now that he had seen Merlin using his power) began to chant desperately over her, not even pausing for air. 

 

When nothing happened, Merlin fell to his knees next to Morgana’s corpse. “Merlin…” Arthur started softly, going towards the man.

 

“ _ No _ ! Why didn’t it work?!” Merlin cried out, eyes flashing gold as the sky began to pour. Merlin knelt, crying, and Arthur glanced at his men, wondering what to do. 

 

Suddenly, a babe’s wail could be heard over the thunder. Merlin sprung to his feet, eyes widening as he ran to Balinor. Arthur watched, gobsmacked, as Merlin cradled his son to his chest. 

 

“Shh, shh, Papa’s here,” Merlin muttered comfortingly, still crying himself. “No one’s ever going to hurt you again…”

 

“Freya!” Merlin called wildly to the wind, and when things already couldn't get any weirder, the woman emerged from a growing puddle on the ground. They all watched on as the small family had a tearful reunion. The parents cradled Balinor between them, crying onto each other’s shoulders. 

 

“But… he was dead?” Elyan asked, voice rising an octave in shock. Arthur merely shrugged in reply, just as confused as the rest of them. 

 

Merlin eventually parted from Freya and Balinor to talk to the knights. He heaved a great sigh, somehow managing to look terribly relieved and worried at the same time. “So, you… know,” he began weakly. 

 

“Yes, we knew,” Arthur replied. 

 

“I always wanted to tell you, I promise! There’s no good excuse, and I’m so sorry. I...I understand if you hate me, but I use it for you, Arthur! Only for you- wait, what do you mean you  _ knew _ ?” Merlin rambled, before cutting himself off, looking at the group with wide eyes. 

 

“As in past tense, Merlin,” Gwaine laughed while Arthur rolled his eyes. 

 

“What he means to say,” here, Arthur glared at Gwaine, “is that we figured it out on our own. Everything this past year just...added up. The only reasonable explanation had to be magic.”

 

“You  _ knew _ ?! You clotpole, why didn’t you tell me?” Merlin demanded, exasperated. “You aren’t going to execute me, right?!”

 

“Of course not!” Arthur exclaimed, aghast that Merlin even had to ask. “After everything, I’ve learned that magic isn’t all so black and white. That maybe it’s the wielder and not the tool.”

 

“Oh, good,” Merlin exhaled, “and how’d you figure that out? You can barely dress yourself,” he raised an amused eyebrow. 

 

“I might have seen Balinor use his powers while you were missing a few weeks ago?” Arthur answered, but it sounded more like a question. Merlin laughed good-naturedly. 

 

“Oh yeah, that. We figured that out ages ago! Apparently, I was the same at his age.”

 

“Speaking of Balinor and powers, what did Morgana want with them? How is Balinor still alive? We all thought…” Leon trailed off, not wanting to voice it out loud. Merlin’s expression darkened. 

 

Still sporting some drying tear tracks, Merlin glanced over his shoulder to where Freya cooed softly at Balinor, who seemed to have calmed down a little. “Balinor, being the son of Emrys and the Lady of the Lake, has great power. Morgana believed if she took it from him for herself, it would be enough to kill me. And you’re right...the process did  _ k-kill  _ Balinor.

 

“When Morgana was dying, I traded her life force for that of my son’s. I’ve done it before, when the first questing beast incident took place,” Merlin looked pointedly at all of them, reminding them of the certain revelation they’d had a few months ago.

 

 “He should be fine, eventually. I wanted to know if you were mad about the whole secretly-being-a-warlock thing before I told you all, though,” Merlin wrung his hands anxiously. 

 

“Told us what?” Percival asked, leaning forward. 

 

“Well, Balinor is going to be alright, but he’s not right now. Freya and I are going to take him to the lake, watch over him a bit. Make sure Morgana didn’t corrupt his magic, things like that. We can’t really do that back in Camelot… Besides, with his connection to lake Avalon, it’ll help speed along with his healing,” Merlin explained, looking a little guilty about leaving all of them. 

 

“O-oh,” Arthur replied, unsure of what to say. 

 

“I’ll miss you, all of you, but we’ll see each other again soon. And hey! You know where we’ll be, don’t be strangers!” Merlin put on a smile, and the rest of them choked out goodbyes, promising to visit. 

 

They watched as Merlin and his family disappeared into the water (that must have been one of Freya’s abilities he supposed) and silently mounted their horses. They couldn’t help but feel a little sad as they journeyed back to Camelot, one member short. 

 

-

 

True to their word, Arthur and his knights had visited Merlin, Freya, and Balinor every few weeks. Guinevere had made the journey with them in the beginning until her pregnancy had prevented her from doing so. 

 

It wasn’t all so bad, though. Freya had explained that they could communicate with water and that those in Camelot could get her attention by calling her name to a source of water. It was nice to chat with Merlin in the evenings in the privacy of his chambers, and it (sort of) made up for their lack of banter throughout the day. 

 

They had never failed to answer a summons. That is, until today. Arthur paced through the halls anxiously, practically screaming Freya’s name into a goblet of water in his hands (that had garnered him a few strange looks).

 

Guinevere had gone into labor, and she hadn’t wanted her best friend to not be there with them. Arthur, who hadn’t wanted to let his poor wife down, had tried to see if Merlin could make it to the castle, but no one answered his summons. 

 

Arthur ending his pacing outside of his bedchambers, where Guinevere’s pained shouts echoed. “Any news?” He asked the men sitting on the floor outside. 

 

“None,” Elyan shook his head grimly. Arthur sighed. He’d hoped that it was almost over. The king hated seeing (or rather, hearing. He didn’t really care to see everything going on inside) his wife in pain. 

 

“What about on your end? Did Merlin answer?” Leon piped up. 

 

“The idiot won’t answer!” Arthur practically growled, furious that his manservant had chosen today of all days to not answer. 

 

“Hey, who are you calling an idiot?” A voice called from behind him, and Gwaine cheered from his place on the floor. 

 

“Merlin?” Arthur turned around, shocked to see the man in question there with his wife and (significantly bigger than the last time he’d seen him) son. 

 

“You didn’t think we’d miss this, did you?”

 

“Yes, actually, I did! Why weren’t you answering?!” Arthur huffed, hiding a smile, and Merlin rolled his eyes.

 

“Excuse us for trying to get here as fast as we could,” Merlin replied, but he too was suppressing a smile. “It’s good to see you. How’s Gwen?”

 

The reunions continued and they informed the couple of Gwen’s state. When Balinor began to kick and cry out, Merlin absentmindedly set him down, not breaking the conversation. 

 

Arthur, however, couldn’t help but stop mid-sentence when something tugged at the hem of his trousers. Glancing down, Arthur’s eyes widened at the sight of Balinor, who had crawled over, looking up at him expectantly. “What do I do?” Arthur asked, looking frantically between the two parents. 

 

“Pick him up, obviously. He doesn’t bite,” Merlin laughed, but then narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “Well, I mean he  _ does,  _ occasionally, but you get what I mean.”

 

Arthur hesitantly leaned down and picked the child up. It had been a while since he’d held the boy. Balinor was still afraid of anyone touching him but his parents the last time Arthur had seen him (a side effect of Morgana’s torment), but it seemed he was over it. 

 

“We were actually already on our way when we heard about Gwen. Balinor’s finally ready to be back. Isn’t it great?” Merlin smiled. 

 

The conversation resumed and continued for a long while since the group had lots to catch up on. It only paused when one of the midwives assisting Gaius popped out to give them an update. The next time the door opened, however, it was Gaius himself. 

 

“She’s ready to see you,” was all Gaius said, his eyes glinting amusedly. Arthur set Balinor down before dashing into the room. 

 

“Guinevere?” Arthur asked hesitantly. 

 

“We’ve got a girl, Arthur,” Guinevere whispered softly, eyes never leaving the little bundle in her arms. Arthur sat gently on the bed, gazing at his wife in awe. 

 

“A daughter?” Arthur asked, voice wrought with emotion. Guinevere looked at him with a bright smile, nodding. He turned to look at his  _ daughter _ . 

 

The little girl’s skin was fairer than Guinevere’s but darker than Arthur’s. Dark curls rested atop her head, and her lips were pink and soft. Her tiny hand was curled up and resting on her cheek. “She’s gorgeous…” 

 

“She’s sleeping now, but earlier I saw her eyes. They look just like yours,” Guinevere informed him, and his heart swelled with love at the thought of them. “I know we didn’t really talk about names if it was a girl, but I’ve always had one in mind…”

 

Arthur looked at her expectantly. “What about Ygraine?” She offered, and Arthur had to squeeze his eyes shut to fight off tears. 

 

“It’s perfect,” he whispered.

 

Later, they introduced little Ygraine to the family that awaited outside. One by one they’d gotten to hold her, and Arthur swelled with pride every time someone complimented his little girl. 

 

When Ygraine had been returned to her mother, Balinor became fussy, demanding without words to be put down, and Freya complied. What happened next, though, surprised them all. 

 

Balinor grabbed onto the bed frame, pulled himself up, and took a hesitant step towards the sleeping girl. Merlin gasped, and Arthur heard Freya cry something about first steps. Balinor took another step towards Ygraine, and Guinevere angled her arms so that the young boy could see the babe. 

 

Balinor pressed a little kiss to Ygraine’s forehead, then turned back to Freya and Merlin, beaming proudly. He tried to take another step and promptly fell on his tush, but he didn’t seem to mind. Merlin rushed over, picking the boy up in his arms and spinning him around. 

 

“My big boy! I’m so proud of you!” Merlin told him affectionately, and Balinor laughed. Arthur watched on happily, hoping for the day when he could see Ygraine take her own first steps. That would be some time yet. 

 

-

 

Just a few months after Princess Ygraine’s birth, magic was legalized. The castle had been abuzz for days with preparations for a great feast, and both new families were looking forward to the celebrations. Arthur, having decided to celebrate the little boy who had put everything in motion, had chosen to officially legalize magic on Balinor’s first birthday. 

 

It was funny how everything he knew to be true about magic hinged on the little boy. If he had not been born, then Arthur would likely have never learned that the evil it was not magic itself, but the wielder. Merlin would likely have had no reason to come forward either (though he hoped that Merlin would have had enough faith in him someday to do so), but now it didn’t matter. Perhaps this all had been for the best. 

 

When Arthur welcomed everyone to the feast, announcing the legalization of magic, telling stories of all the good magic had done for Camelot in the past few years, and naming Merlin the official Court Warlock, he was met with raucous applause. 

 

Guinevere had brought Ygraine for the opening remarks of the feast, but she would most definitely be in the nursery before the night was over. It was likely Balinor wouldn’t be able to stay the full night either. Arthur was just glad they were both there for such a momentous occasion (though neither would remember). 

 

Looking out over the cheering crowd, and back again at his family (which he was finally willing to admit included Merlin), he couldn’t help the joy that he felt. Merlin was free to be who he was, Balinor could grow up without fear of who he was, and Arthur had a wife and daughter to love. They were unlike any family he’d ever known, but they were his. Arthur wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!  
> Merlin, Arthur, the knights, and all the kiddos will be back for more adventures in the series soon, so don't forget to subscribe to the series!

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and feedback always appreciated! :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Begin Anew](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19727974) by [fictionalinfinity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalinfinity/pseuds/fictionalinfinity)




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